Becoming Dr. Taylor

"No one or nothing could stop me from academically excelling, besides me, and learning to win the war against myself was even more rewarding than winning the war against the opinions of others."

I have always had a very different relationship with school than my peers. I knew as early as Kindergarten that I wanted to be a schoolteacher. School days passed by quickly for me and as the school bus let me and my neighborhood friends off at our bus stop, my instant question to them was, “Hey, do y’all want to come to my house to play school?”. Of course, I was greeted with a bunch of hell no’s and girl, we just got out of school. They then went to do the fun things that lively 90s children did like ride bikes, played freeze tag, and just carefree chilled on the electrical boxes around the neighborhood. I, however, went and set up my bedroom classroom using old magazines and books around the house as textbooks, and my stuffed animals as my students. My twin sized bed with my Barbie comforter was my desk. I loved school, and this love was no secret. Ultimately, this love is what has made it possible for me to have remained in school from 1998-2020, even though sometimes school was one of the biggest instigators of my anxiety and depressive episodes.

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Although my love for school was never a secret to myself or anyone who knew me well, I never really thought about why I loved school as much as I did until recently, after twenty-two years of being in school non-stop. For me, school gave me three things throughout my life: stability, identity, and confidence. As a young child, I battled with many things. I encountered poverty, low self-esteem, an anxiety and eating disorder, with depressive mood and an adjustment disorder as early as five years of age. When I went to school, these things were suppressed. They didn’t exist. As a young girl, my parents did the best they could with the resources and knowledge that they had, and I appreciate them for doing their best. By my twelfth-grade year of school, I had lived in over fifteen different residents in Nashville. Some of those locations being motels or relatives’ homes, but fortunately never on the streets. Sometimes I would be comfortably sleeping or playing in my room one day, to be awaken to the news that we had to move our entire life to a new home in a matter of 24 hours. I was always wondering when the next move would be and where. In the midst of continuously moving, school was still the same. School was stable. Although my bus stop may have been different, my classes and teachers were still the same, I ate lunch at the same time every day, and could count on some comic relief with my friends.

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In addition to this stability, school offered me an identity that I could be confident in and proud of. Growing up as a dark-skinned girl in the South, I didn’t always see myself as beautiful. I wasn’t always “the choice” and the guys didn’t flock to me. I was never the popular girl in school and was always runner-up. Although I wasn’t often acknowledged for my beauty, I found pride in the acknowledgement of my intelligence. School was easy for me, and as an added bonus -- I enjoyed it. I was the girl who made the principal’s list and honor roll. I was the girl in enrichment and advanced classes, all throughout my school career. The applauds I received for my educational accomplishments, in a way, made up for the feelings of rejection and invisibility I felt in other areas of my life. Now as a woman with a healing mentality, I can find greater appreciation for being respected for my mind and not solely my beauty.

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I truly believe school was a blessing in which God sent to me to save my life and protect my destiny. School gave me a place to feel safe, heard, and justified. School reassured me of my worth beyond what other peoples’ perceptions were of me. Education empowered me beyond the recognition and validation of others, which is something I have longingly struggled with. School reassured me of how valuable and strong I was simply because I was who I was, and not because of anyone else. No one or nothing could stop me from academically excelling, besides me, and learning to win the war against myself was even more rewarding than winning the war against the opinions of others. My education was the one area in my life that I could control as I fought through my own personal struggles; I fought hard and am still fighting to become my best-self.

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For me, it is important to reflect on all that I have fought through to become Dr. Taylor. It was not easy, but wonderful teachers in my life and within my safe-haven of Bellshire Elementary, (my short time at Goodlettsville Middle), Gra-Mar Middle, East Lit. High, and Maplewood High School, helped me continue to tap into and appreciate one of the best parts of myself – my mind. Through my mind, I have been able to find my voice. Therefore, I was able to break generational curses and self-imposed bondage through education. As a teacher, I hope to reinvest some of the power I received to children with similar experiences as myself. I am passionate about what I do because I know it is God’s calling over my life, and I understand the power that education possesses to change one’s life. It has the power to transform impoverished children who are unsure of their worth, into Doctorate Degree attaining individuals who will go forth and change the world by paying it forward.